To be loved is like the balance in your cheque-book!

Huh? Chong, have you finally lost mind? What on earth are you talking about? ‘To be loved is like the balance in your cheque-book’.

Well, the definition of balance is many and varied. A ‘balance’ is an apparatus for weighing. To be perched on balance is on a knife’s edge. To ‘be’ balanced might be stability of body or mind, or harmony of design and proportion. These diverse meanings are all valid. I however propose a wider perspective of the term ‘balance’. One that relates more to something like the ‘balance of your cheque-book’ … And it has to do with love.

You know, millions of people can’t be wrong. I mean to say, it’s really nice to be loved, isn’t it? Just knowing that someone, somewhere, really loves you – not just a little bit, not just now and again or when they want something, but all of the time. Even when they’re mad at you, or you’ve made a mistake, or even when you’ve “pissed them off” in some way, they still love you.

           It’s like a warm fuzzy blanket that surrounds you each and every moment of every day. It’s like the taste of Nanna’s apple pie 365 days of the year. Now this “love” can come from a whole variety of wonderful places. It might be from your partner or your mother or father. It could be the grizzly-bear hug from your old Grandpa, or the sloppy kiss from your two-year-old child – and, by the way, the more the merrier. It’s like, “Give me more, please”.

           It’s a bit like an elixir of life, somewhat akin to the nutrients from the earth that a plant seeks through its roots so that its flowers may bloom. Take away the nutrients and the plant does not flourish, and the flowers do not bloom.

           Much, of course, has been written about the sweet elixir of love. It can be read through verse, or discovered in a tome or through the lyrics of a sweet melody, or when you hear the words of a song that touches your heart and makes you cry, not from sadness, but from recognition – recognition that those words, or that tune has touched within you to the core of your being. They have been the key that opened the door to the love that is within. That’s not a “desire for”, but rather a “recognition of” this love within us.

           So, when your old Grandpa gives you a hug, or your two-year-old plants a sloppy one on your cheek, know that what they are doing is touching the well of love that is within you. They act like a key that unlocks the door to let your love shine through.

           You know what else is really interesting? It’s not just your grandfather or child or mother or father who holds a key. There’s another really important person that holds a key to your “love” room. Do you know who that is?


           Yes, you! You hold the key to the well of love that’s inside. You can turn the key and enter any time you like. Entry is free any time, day or night. You don’t need anyone’s permission – there’s no pass that’s required, but simply an acknowledgement that you are worthy, a knowing that, despite your foibles and inconsistencies (like we all have), you are worthy of love.

           Go on. Take the key out of your pocket and put it in the keyhole. Open the door and go inside. Ah, there you are – yourself, standing in the room. Give yourself a big smile. Go and give yourself a big hug. Did you notice the sparks of love that shine from your eyes? Go on, now, give yourself a gift of appreciation. Say thank you. Tell yourself that you’ll see you later. Then, with a heart full to the bursting, leave the room and go about your daily business, knowing that you can come back to the “love” room any time you like. You’ll always be there.

When your “love” room is in balance, it’s a bit like having a cheque-book with a never-ending supply of money it, from which you can withdraw whenever you like. Pretty cool, hey!

By Stephen Chong