Without a Doubt
“I just can’t do this,” said the young man to no one but himself. “It’s all too hard,” as he struggled with the words on the page. He’d deleted, typed and deleted again and all that was left after hours of futile toil was a blank page on the screen. He took the easy way out. He logged in to his social media account, checked out the latest football scores and answered a few unimportant emails. But he knew the deadline was pressing. He knew the thesis had to be completed in two days time – he hadn’t even started. The words, ‘I’m not good enough’ and ‘They won't like it, anyway’ kept echoing through his being as he tried his best to find words to put on the page.
“Bugger this!” he railed as he slammed shut the lid on his laptop and pulled on his coat and went outside for a walk. The chill of the afternoon air hit him like a polar ice train as he pulled the collar up of his coat to ward off some semblance of chilled air. The weather in many ways resembled the winter of his discontent as he trudged down the street toward he wasn’t sure where.
He passed a few struggling retailers and managed to avoid the one or two homeless men sitting huddled under frayed vestments.
“Help an old man in need,” came the strangled voice of a homeless man who was sitting just around a corner. He held out a filthy hand in hope that a coin or a token may be dropped within. The young man just averted his eyes and kept on walking.
“Why don’t you help me,” came the voice that followed him as he walked passed. It made him stop dead in his tracks.
“Because I can’t even help myself,” was the only reply that came to the surface of his mind.
At that same moment, he heard a clacking sound on the concrete pathway.
‘Clack clack, clack,’ was the noise that preceded the cane that preceded the blind man as he turned the corner. The young man could not help but turn around to uncover the source of the unusual sound. As he rounded the corner the blind man took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them within the outstretched palm of the beggar.
“Thank you, thank you,” stammered the beggar, “blessings be upon you.”
The blind man bent down to clasp the hand that now contained the coins.
“Thank you for your words, my friend, but I have no need of your blessings,” he said as he proceeded to rise and continue his journey.
‘Clack, clack, clack,’ filled the air with echo as he passed by. The young man could only stand mute, awestruck by what he had just witnessed. But some compelling force urged him on - he had to find out, he had to ask. He ran up to the blind man and grasped him softly by the arm.
“Ah, excuse me, I, I … I just had to ask, “ he stammered.
“Ask what?” replied the blind man, as he continued walking.
“Well, you just said that, ‘you have no need of blessings’.”
“Yes, that’s right. You heard correctly.”
“But I don’t understand. I mean, after all, you are blind. Surely you need something,” said the confused young man.
“I certainly do not,” was the chastened reply. “Why would I need anything?”
“Well, because sometimes life doesn’t give us what we want. It doesn’t do us any favours. Do you know what I mean?”
The old blind man’s brow furrowed at such complexity. “No, I do not know what you mean. Did I not have the coins to place into the beggar's hands?”
“Well, yes, but …”
“Do I not have my cane to find my way and my coat to keep out the winter chill?”
“Yes, you do, but …” replied the young man as he labored his breath to keep up with the blind man’s pace. Then he stopped abruptly to stand squarely in front of his inquirer.
“Tell me, what is the difference between you and me?”
“Well, ahh, I am a little bit younger. You are blind, I am not.”
“No, in here,” he said as he pointed a gnarled finger at the young man’s chest somewhere near his heart.
“Well, ahh, …” was the stammered response.
“Look, the real difference between you and me is that I do not doubt myself.”
“What? I don’t understand.”
“I do not doubt that I am blind. I do not doubt that I can reach my destination. I do not doubt that I can find my way.”
“But what does that mean. Surely it cannot be that easy?” replied the young man.
“Look,” said the blind man as he turned to continue walking, “when you have self-doubt. When you think that you cannot. When you believe that you are unworthy of life’s bounty, then you stop the universe providing its abundance.”
The blind man couldn’t see, but he sensed that the young man was beginning to.
“I want you to go home, open your computer and I want you to start typing. Type the words, ‘I am abundant in self-worth’ and ‘I am abundant in creative energy’. After you have done this, I want you to listen. I want you to listen to the divine winds of the universe that will blow through your being.”
“Ahh, yes, okay, I will,” said the younger man eagerly.
“Good,” replied the blind man as he recommenced his journey. “And always remember, ‘Without self-doubt, abundance flows naturally. Know that you are worthy’.”
“Thank you, thank you,’ said the young man in gratitude as he sped back to his home to finish his thesis.